Anger Management for Parents
How to be more patient with your child
The demands of life can make parents feel angry with their children from time to time. It can be very difficult for parents to maintain a loving state of mind towards their children when they become angry and defiant, especially if there has been a long history of such behavior.
It is important that you, as a parent, should avoid getting angry as much as possible. A great way to achieve this is through learning the art of patience.
If your child is not acting out in defiance, then simply continue what you are doing as usual as calmly as possible as if nothing had happened. Perhaps smile at them from time to time and maintain a loving and gentle mindset.
Why do we get angry at our children?
When we get angry with our children, it is usually because they have done something that we don't like.
This can be due to their behavior being irritating, annoying, obnoxious, sneaky, and manipulative, among others. Sometimes it is the result of them having hurt our feelings. Perhaps they have been disrespectful to another family member or you.
Quite often, something that has made us angry is related to what we have taught them not to do or a rule that we have set.
In order to not feel this anger when your child acts out in defiance or misbehaves, you must first change your mindset.
Instead of focusing on what you don't want them doing, simply focus on being happy about how wonderful and respectful they are 99% percent of the time.
Praise them for their good conduct instead of dwelling on what they have done wrong. Think about all the good they've done from birth up until now.
How can we handle our anger?
The most important thing to remember when you feel angry is that anger is an emotion like any other and can be understood as such. This means that you don't need to act out on it by screaming at your child or even by feeling it for too long.
Here are ways to manage your anger:
1. Breathe deeply and calmly. Imagine you are inhaling peace and exhaling anger through your pores until the anger slowly dissipates on its own.
2. Take a break from whatever situation you are in for a few minutes, even if it's only to stand outside the room or go out into the garden for a while without saying anything.
3. Meditate on your breathing. Focus entirely on each breath that you take and the space of silence between each one. Do this for 10 minutes or more if possible.
4. If it is necessary, walk away from your child completely until you have calmed down before returning to them. Some parents find it helpful always to keep their mobile phone within reach in case they need someone else to listen to them as well as a picture of their child as a reminder that even when angry, their children are worth loving no matter what.
5. Go outside and scream into the sky or punch a pillow if you can't do any of the other things mentioned above because screaming helps release anger.
6. When it comes time for you and your child to talk things out, refer back to all of the good behavior they have done throughout their life up until now. Remind them that everyone has anger issues sometimes but that it's best for everyone involved if they behave in an acceptable way.
When it comes to anger, don't take things personally and avoid using physical punishment.
Instead, focus only on letting your children know that you love them no matter what. This way, they will learn the skills they need for their future by obeying your rules out of respect rather than fear or anger.
My friend is offering a free copy of her audiobook about Anger Management for Parents to anyone who isn't yet a member of Audible. You can download it for free using the links below.
